Beyond the Beyond
by windstruck07
Summary: "I love you", "Don't say the word 'love' so lightly" "But I do." "As a friend" "Familial, brotherly, romantic...will you seriously define love the way everybody else does?"- Because Elsa knows and Jack understands. Oneshot. First attempt at fluff and feels


Dedicated to MischievousRose ^_^

This is actually partially based on a real life situation. Not all events or feelings of the characters are relevant to real life events though. There's no plot. It's just a test if I can write fluff or feels effectively. Flames are welcome ^^

...

"Are you okay?"

I find it very hard trying to read your mind.

They say that the quiet ones, the introverts, the melancholic folk, tended to look beyond the exterior and truly see the world as it is. They read between the lines, they brave the glitter or grime of the outside to see what goes beyond the beyond. They refuse to judge at first glance and try to understand and assess every nook and cranny for an explanation to how things are so, how things came to be. In their silence, they understand the hidden joys of the meek and humble, the anguished cry of the broken-hearted, and the child's face behind the soldier's mask…

I am deemed quiet by those who don't know who I am, only revealing the deeper pieces of myself to a few people whom I love and trust. Somehow, silence gave me the ability to look into the things beyond what I see. And every now and then, even in my silence, people come asking for help… even when I have nothing to give.

They come to me for problems, for advice on life, love, and all that sort. But what do I know about life when I'm only eighteen? What do I know about love if the only love I know is familial or sibling love? People trust me too much with the hidden pieces of their lives, but sometimes it's too much to

Sometimes I feel that they are over estimating me. I blame Anna for this.

"Look at me Elsa."

And then you came along.

The 4x6 room seemed too stuffy, although the only furniture that graced it was a vanity at one wall, a made bed, and an open window revealing the sun setting beneath a horizon of colorful sea. You were seated on the floor against the opposite wall while I was hugging myself while reclined against the edge of the bed, being the timid girl that I was. Normally, circumstances like these, being alone with a boy three years older than me inside his room would have been a very frightening experience. But you were not just any older boy… you were my like the big brother I never had… you were you.

Silence permeated as I consciously held onto my braid, biting my lips as lashes fluttered downward. I refuse to meet the warmth of your eyes that seem too loving, too warm, too trusting. Nor did I want to look upon the bronze glory of your hair, with the setting sun intruding through the room's open window. I frowned upon the soft orange and yellow rays while they casted lights on your skin as if you were the most beautiful gift ever brought to mankind. The soft fluffy warmth of the carpet under me felt hard and cold as my nervous heart beat in time with heavy breaths I've been trying to conceal. I contented myself to seeing you through my peripheral vision, watched as your brown leather jacket folded over a cream white shirt you bought from Penshoppe the other day. My breath caught when I caught you see me looking at your cocky half-smile, so smug and so alluring that it made my heart break every time. You tilt your head to the side, trying to catch my blue eyes with your own. I shy away, hiding the sorrow through an act of dignified sternness. But you know how I truly feel, and I don't know why. You know that my lower lip trembles when I am nervous, you know that I'm not okay when I avoid your piercing brown eyes.

Liking you too much is becoming a problem.

You aren't quiet. You are mischievous and friendly. You are too straight forward. You make a fool of yourself with Flynn, and you like to tease your poor best friend Hiccup. You drive Edmund insane, and you act like a son to jolly old Nicholas. People say you are a dense prick of a person, but you see beyond the beyond better than I do.

Liking you too much already is a problem.

"No."

You lean back against the wall, planting your hands on your knees as you crossed your legs in an Indian-sit. I sneak a peek and see your head tilted to the side, watching me and observing my every move. Darn you… darn you and your smug attitude.

"No as in you are not okay? Or no as in you don't want to look at me?" you ask.

I pulled my legs together and hugged my knees. I hid my eyes beneath my bangs, sinking into the warmth I made for myself. My baby blue sweater could not give me the warmth I longed for, and a war raged within myself fighting desire for the comfort of your touch, or the sweet accents of your comforting words. I wanted none of it…

My heart is a traitor.

"Both?" I mumbled.

"Okay?" I hear a smile in your voice. "Can you tell me what's wrong then?"

"Can't I just deal with this on my own for a while?" I whispered as my eyes dared to meet his. Wrong move.

His eyes twinkled, and that same loving warmth shone for me once again.

"You tried that already. It didn't work. Why try again?"

That was when the dam broke.

If you pass through the hall outside his room right now, you'd hear my voice sobbing like a weeping babe. It was embarrassing, it was ungraceful. But Jack… you understand me like the back of your hand.

Why is that?

Normally a guy would reach out and take the opportunity to pat me in the back or cuddle. The less decent ones would take advantage of the situation. But you don't do that.

Instead you just sit there from across the room like a spectator, watching me cry like the emotional brat that I was. Your shoulders are relaxed, your lips are pressed into a hard line, but your eyes reflect the sorrow that I was in. Why is that?

Liking you too much is a problem.

"I don't know…" I say through choked sobs. "I don't know."

"Elsa," your voice is gentle and soft but stern. "You've been through this before…"

"I know," I tell you.

"Yes you do," you say. "But you don't understand what you know."

I wipe my tears with the heel of my palm, blinking up to him in confusion. What do I don't understand Jack? What do I know that I don't understand?

"You know why there are people like North, or Sandy, or Tooth…" you laugh a little in mock when you say, "like Bunny. "It's because they understand what they know… or rather appreciate what they know. Well… appreciate is such a soft word." You straighten yourself and lean so that your face becomes slightly closer towards my direction. "They value what they know with their life. And that's why they go beyond the safe zone to let people know what they know."

"Know what?"

Jack gave me his rare genuine smiles.

"That they are loved." You tell me simply.

"How can I? When I've nothing to give?" I ask him, my eyes pleading for the answers.

You pause and think for a moment, and then you look at me and smile again.

"You know I have a job interview today, right?"

I nod.

"Don't feel guilty with what I'm about to tell you." You tell me. "I sacrificed my time, my money, my responsibility to my family, just to see how you're doing. How's that?"

I slumped my shoulders in guilt, but then you laugh.

"I'm just kidding Elsa." You smile. "But see, what I mean here is… the only key to your problem is to simply love. You don't have to experience everything just to tell people what they need. It doesn't work that way."

"But-"

"And don't believe that 'trust your heart' lie all the time." You intervene.

"See where that got you for the umpteenth time? You're basing your actions on what you feel. It can't work that way Elsa. You're only slowing yourself down. Or are you too tired and selfish to help people when they need you most?"

There… your straightforward words have struck me again. But they don't cut deeply the way a killing knife does. They pierce through me like a scalpel… like a blade meant to heal.

Liking you is a problem Jack.

"I know."

"No you don't know," you tell me. Your words sound a little harsh, and that's when I look up to meet your face.

Your big brown eyes. Your brave smile. There I saw what I always coveted from you.

Compassion.

Love.

How could you do this to me Jackson Overland?

"Stop beating yourself up, princess." You tell me. "And start learning that there are people who do see you and love you, in spite of what you did, or whatever wrong you're about to do."

"But I did a lot of wrong things." I whisper,

"I forgive you." You tell me.

"But I don't deserve to be loved."

"Everyone doesn't." you argue. "But yet you know I love you, right?"

Stop. Please don't say you love me.

"Don't say the word 'love' too lightly Jackson."

He smiles and shrugs. "I don't."

"But it's true. I do love you."

"As a friend." I mumble.

You frown. "Elsa. Familial, brotherly, romantic… should it matter? Will you really define love the way everybody else sees it?"

I keep silent.

You leave your place from across the room and crawl towards my side. There, you offer your fragrant presence, so comforting and sweet, with your shoulder angled towards me in invitation. Like a child, I fling myself into the comfort of your embrace, and that's where I completely lose myself.

Why is liking you such a problem Jackson?

"What matters to me is that love shouldn't be conditional." You whisper against my hair. It warms me the way your breath almost feels like a kiss… though I know you will never see me the way I yearn for in all the years you've been my 'big brother'.

"I know," I sob through your shirt.

"You can't give what you don't have." You continue. "You think you don't have experience and you are right…. But people aren't asking you for experience. They're asking for you to listen. They're asking for you to care."

"I'm scared." I admit to you in defeat, "I'm too scared to fail."

"You can't be afraid of failure Elsa." You tell me as your hand idly plays with my braid. "Everyone has to fail at some point."

"I'd rather not do and fail."

"Would you rather do and fail, or would you rather not do and regret?" you ask me, and I begin to wail against your chest. You cup my face and wipe the tears from my eyes.

Loving you is a problem Jackson Overland.

"Elsa," you whisper my name. Like a river of honey…

"What?"

"You know I love you right?"

I nod.

"But you don't understand." You smile that conceited grin.

I nod again.

And then, you kiss me.

And you took me beyond the beyond.

Loving you…. Isn't such a problem anymore.

... ... ...

A/N: May the Fortress be with you...


End file.
